*is it innappropriate?

(courtesy of deisngverb.com)

...that I had completely inappropriate thoughts about how delicious bacon chocolate could be?

I was reading Brady's blog to find out that my friend has had this amazing concoction, but failed to tell me.

*humph*

THERE'S. BACON. IN. MY. CHOCOLATE....BACON---yes, that's right
BACON!!!!

Holy shit, what's left? Bacon lollipops? Bacon gum? Bacon lickable wallpaper?

love means nothing in tennis

(photo courtesy of gawker.com)

I love me some Federer as much as the next girl, but is it weird that Roger Federer's fans, at least those appearing court side on a regular basis (JEALOUS), are pre-or post menopausal?!

Roger is smoking hot, and he can really play tennis. I think he hits the ball over 130mph, and that's just his arm.

Anyway, seems weird he doesn't have any younger fans, like, without children or hormone replacement therapy.

tinsel schmintzel

I have this amazing friend, his name is Zack. He's tall, dark, handsome, kind, loyal, creative, witty and can sing his tight little buns off. I'm not sure he knows it but despite the small fact that he isn't at all interested or can't reciprocate, ALL of his girlfriends and I are in luuuv with him.

...and yes, I am fully aware I used a "u" in Luuv, but my lapse in grammar judgment should illustrate the point perfectly.

Seriously. He is amazing.

A while back, embarrassingly, in JUNE he performed at Joe's Pub in NYC to a packed house. He sang, made jokes and was fabulous in a 3-piece suit. No one could have been more so. I think I can safely speak for Moe, Nate and Roy when I say that we were blown away by his talent and awfully proud to be there.

I am writing this so late mostly because I haven't gotten a chance to do a proper "ode" to his royal lovelyness.

...and oh is it lovely...

Despite all the flattery, truly, it is really wonderful to have such a good friend, a steadfast source of advice, laughter and support. I only hope I can provide the same.

I mean, really...the guy laughs at my jokes, ALMOST every time.

Klum in Hebrew is the word for NOTHING! (seriously)

(prop styling by Miss. Heather D)

This morning makes 9 days that darling, adorable Heather and I have been sweatin’ to David Kirsch’s complicated sweat IN MY EYE inducing workouts. Basically we feel good. Maybe I am speaking for myself here, but I am not seeing the KLUMIFICATION I was hoping (praying for).

Things are tighter and the workouts are getting easier, and I think I almost felt a runner’s high the other night, but am currently living Klum-free.

Maybe miraculously on day 14 I will wake up at 3am with a sexy hot Klum-like body in my bed and wake up to find that HOLY CRAP, that's ME...I am that supermodel!

(will keep you updated)

oh my....Clive you are so FINE

(Photo courtesy of Working Title Films)

errr...and a wonderful actor.

yeah, that's the ticket.

So, as some of you may or may not know I LOVE Cate Blanchett. What I love even more is her portrayal of Queen Elizabeth I. The movie was amazing and now, FINALLY the trailer has been released for it's sequel "Elizabeth The Golden Age" has been put online (I literally got goosebumps) AS WELL as production diaries from the set.

Oh, and did I mention CLIVE friggin' OWEN is in it? Need I?

Thought not.

Enjoy the trailer...gigggggggggggle.

ode to the meat ball

Me and my homies went to IKEA this weekend to get some shelves, sheets, tupperware, crap, candles, more crap (THAT WE DON'T NEED) and MEAT BALLS. Now, sweet little innocent Heather had never had the IKEA delicacy and besides being shocked, I was thrilled that I could be there.

There is no one who doesn't like these delicious little buggers (ok, Roy and probably my Mother) but, really, besides that anyone who's not concerned with clogged arteries or living past 35 runs for the cafeteria first chance they get.

I've even found a place online where they give you the RECIPE. that's right, you can have them everyday for the rest of your life, that's right THE REST OF YOUR LIFE:

Ingredients:

250gm minced beef 250gm minced pork 1 egg 200-300ml cream and water (or milk and water) 2.5 tbsp. finely-chopped onion 50ml unsweetened rusk flour 2 cold boiled potatoes 4-5 tbsps butter, margarine or oil Salt and pepper

Instructions:

Heat the onion till golden in a couple of tablespoons of lightly browned butter. Mash the potatoes and moisten the rusk flour in a little water. Mix all the ingredients until there is consistency and flavor generously with salt, white pepper and (optional) a little finely crushed allspice. Use a pair of spoons to shape the mixture into relatively large, round balls and transfer to a floured chopping board. Fry them slowly in plenty of butter.

How to make the cream sauce:

Ingredients:
100ml cream 200ml beef stock Chinese soy sauce Salt, white pepper 1 tbsp white flour

Instructions:

Swirl the boiling water or beef stock in a pan. Add cream and thicken with white flour if preferred. Season well with salt and pepper. Serve the meatballs with the sauce, freshly boiled potatoes, uncooked lingonberry jam and salad. There you have the perfect Swedish meal!

...days left till I go to Israel? ONLY 18!

I am totally busy at work, swamped is a better adjective (although it hardly describes my situation). BUT I wanted to share a little video I found on YouTube that got me pretty pumped for my impending trip.

Enjoy...



Then there's also this, which is always a favorite...

"I could have danced all night, and still have begged for more..."

(this is my parents' dog, Sophie showing all of you how I feel today)

Tate and Shawna had a party last night, to which I invited a few of my friends. It was AMAZING. We literally danced all night, some of us with sunglasses on (Tate), some of us with shirts dripping in sweat (me), some of us with a ponytail comb-over (mystery guest).

There was a roving drink cart with 2 levels—brought the rad factor to level 12, if you ask me.

And everyone had a blast and thanks to Shawna’s “agent orange” mystery punch, we were all more carefree than usual.

A big thanks goes out to Jennifer and Heather, who braved the throngs of strangers and piles of CARAMEL COVERED M&M and popcorn-infused Chex Mix to be there with me. A giant smooch goes to Fred for once again brining models and a huge smile on my face.

So much fun, seriously.

If I had remembered to take my camera out of my bag, you would have seen a photo of Tate dancing. Even in the cold light of morning, it’s hypnotizing.

Shawna, you’re one lucky girl.

12 days and counting

I am seriously considering getting a handicap sticker for my car. Because of my ridiculously supermodel-like workouts it now takes me literally 4 minutes to physically SIT DOWN TO PEE. I grab onto the handrail or nearby sink like the seat is made of hot lava and I swear I can hear those truck beeps they use to alert you that they're backing up....

...beep....beep...beep.

yeah, not so funny.

I am usually prone to exaggeration, but I am, in NO WAY kidding. It reminds me of that scene in Death Becomes Her when Meryl Streep is watching her ass lift in the mirror as she drinks the potion.



bottoms up!
(get it? bottoms up indeed)

Klum Schmoom

(photo courtesy of David Kirsch)

...ok, you done oogling Heidi's goodies?
because in 13 days, from the neck down (ok, maybe from the ribcage down) I will also have those goodies.
My friend Heather and I are working out with David Kirsch, the workout guru to the stars and their asses.
He has a strict plan wherein you do 45 minutes of cardio a night, every night for 2 weeks with 45-15 minute cardio workouts (each focusing on a different dysfunctional area) on rotation.
Last night was our first night with the master, (ok the master's book), and I have to tell you I am thrilled. It was amazing and despite fits of uncontrollable laughter at my lack of stability on the STABILITY ball, I could do the exercises and I think we got a great workout.
...only 13 more nights to go.

...and the cobbler was fantastic

I made a trans-Atlantic, trans-Mediterranian drunk dial.
The evening didn't start out so sloppy. Tate and Shawna had me over for a DELICIOUS dinner party with some of their friends (all of whom are pretty rad) and we laughed, ate and drank.
I consumed an unnatural quantity of Smirnoff Ice and cobbler, both of which I am nuts about and slightly embarrassed that I have such a strong affection for.
I digress.
The party was great, dinner was, as expected, amazing and slowly around midnight, the guests started to leave.
Not me.
I stayed on and Tate and I ventured out onto the "deck" and philosophized about life, apartments and COBBLER (told you I am obsessed). There was a lot of laughing and as I started inside to get more of that delectable treat (pictured above), I looked at the clock. It was 2am.
Perfect time to call overseas, it's what 9:30 am in Israel?
Yeah, so that's how it happened. Tate and I called Roy about 4 times before he called us back, lovingly entertained our slurring and bouts of hysterical laughter.
Sure, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Even a great one.

He's a trooper, that Roy.

...if i could only remember what we talked about.

top of the rock

Not one of my best photographs, I know. But last friday night I went to the TOP OF THE ROCK with Cordelia and her father, Muriel and Pietzie.
for those of you outside the tri-state area, the TOP OF THE ROCK is a newly renovated observation deck at the top of Rockefeller Center. It has 3 levels and you can see for MILES in every direction.
Being a New Yorker and priding myself on not being touristy, I had avoided going. The thought of lines, men with fanny packs, people with giant cameras, screaming children, kinda repelled me.
But I have to say it rocked. New York City is amazing, and I get to live here.
Amazing. Totally recommend it.

branch out

(image courtesy of David S. )

went to this bar last night*.
it has this un-cool cool vibe about it. here's the sign in the bathroom.
there's no sign outside and no food.
all drinks are served with a block of ice.
basically kick a*s place with no mercy for the faint of heart.
my head hurts and I've been drinking water like a camel all day but it was fun.
and now i have to pay.
*sigh*

*not telling any of you think-you're-so-hip cats, 'cause i like this place just the way it is--without low carb beer, thank you very much.

hell on wheels

(photo from Universal Pictures)

hi there.

so running wasn't enough for me anymore. Not to mention the fact that my tri-athlete friend Mo, scared me by telling me that running could/would "bulk me up."

I’m sorry….WHAT?!

That is the EXACT opposite of what I'm looking for it to do.

So last night I tried “spinning” after my normal run, which she recommended and--I loved it.

Despite the fact that I stereotyped "spinners" as those same women who complain about how many carbs there are in air, chew their food 100 times in order to burn more calories, never eat carbs, sugar, meat, or dairy and never eat after 8pm and also despite the fact that I was completely drenched in sweat, it was satisfying and hard.

I am going again tonight and am actually looking forward to it. Don’t get me wrong I like to exercise, but I've never felt I MUST get back to the gym. This is mainly 'cause my Endorphins were at Ibiza levels last night and I need a good fix.

talking heads

(photo "altered" by me and CB)

Three Germans, an Italian (not pictured) and a Jew from Connecticut were all in a tiny blue jeep…
no, it's not a joke.

This weekend I was lucky enough to spend a day with my friend Cordelia and her extended family.

We drove up to Woodbury Commons, first making one important pit stop at the pancake capital of the world, IHop.

This small detour took us about an hour to find. Even calling the EMPLOYEES IN THE ACTUAL IHOP didn’t help us. We circled parking lots for hours, laughing, using my new gps, even growling out of frustration.

But luckily, we made it and filled our stomachs with pancakes, eggs, sausages, whipped cream, bacon, hash browns, toast, omlettes—and that was just one person, let's call him the Shm-i-talian (also not pictured).

The day was spent shopping (mostly browsing for me), gossiping, walking until our feet were about to fall off, making drop offs at the car, laughing and avoiding pushy cart salesmen (who happen to be Israeli---hmmm). I got to use my broken hebrew which is getting better everyday.

I just wanted to say thank you to CB for letting me a part of her family for the day. I had a blast.

…I also expect to be on this years Christmas card as well.

battle wounds

bruise #1

bruise #2

nice, eh? The remnants of my MTA-disaster last Wednesday.

I think the green brings out my eyes.

don't take this the wrong way...

(photo by RowdyReptile on flickr)

...but you're not as earth-friendly as you think you are.
This past weekend I read a piece in the New York Times (click here) about water bottles and how wasteful it is to be buying plastic water bottles instead of using a more eco-friendly container. It changed my whole perspective on shit, which sometimes happens when reading the NYT. I say sometimes, because generally speaking the weekend edition is really the only part of that paper with which I wouldn't consider lining a bird cage.

Anyways, take a look at the NALGENE site and do your part. Buy a BRITA and save the planet a bit, eh?
I mean, how many of you recycle those smart water bottles you spring 3$ for? yeah, that's what i thought.

hippie shampoo

Sometimes people need to take time to think. Last night I had drinks and tasti-d with my dear friend, Mo. She gave me some stinky hippie shampoo that actually worked. Literally the stuff smells like hippie armpit.
But I digress.

As I sat and listened to her story I realized how sometimes, the most terrific people don’t realize that they’re so and it takes a shake up to make them see that their brand of kick ass doesn’t really exist everywhere.

Sometimes we take strength for granted. Mo has been through a lot this year; not to mention she literally got hit by a car. To see her really taking charge of what’s on her plate with a smile and a positive attitude is nothing short of extraordinary and inspiring.

Life is short and you just gotta get right back up.

Just like when you’re walking on the sidewalk and trip over absolutely nothing and pretend that nothing happened.…“What me? Naw, I totally didn’t just trip.”

Just keep walking forward.

Walking on sunshine…even though its gonna rain--AGAIN

Tomorrow marks the one month countdown until I fly to lovely kiryat ono.
I am beyond excited.
Don’t get me wrong, the “summer of Sarah” is in full effect and it friggin’ rulez. But to give roy a giant hug and hear all about his adventures will be wonderful—not to mention I get to see that soft spot on his neck that smells like-- DELICIOUS!

(oh, yeah and I can have hot mint tea)

a tornado lives in brooklyn

HOLY SHIT the sky is falling.

literally

Okay, so yes my morning was a nightmare but I feel very lucky I didn't end up in the areas of Queens and Brooklyn with GIANT TREES FALLING DOWN.

So, I may be scraped and frizzy, but for once, my car is safe.

But don't tell anyone...it could change in a millisecond. With my luck someone could back into my car with a tree they're moving, or a tree could take the subway and swan dive onto my car. any number of things...so, let's keep it between us.

...and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

There’s got to be a better way. Seriously. They can't put a sign at the entrance to the subway so you don't waste your money and time going downstairs? They know there's a delay or a shut down, why is it hard to procure a sharpie and a piece of paper?

Too much to ask?

I woke up this morning early to take a little run in the rain (my favorite) and got home in time to move my car and lose my Metro Card. Was listening to NPR in the shower (shamelessly I may add) and heard that the 2,3 lines were not running from Brooklyn. Ok, no problem I take the A, C anyway. Grab a coffee and head down the escalator with my new shiny (put in my wallet right away) Metro Card. Mid way on the super steep escalator about to sip my delicious coffee, I slip. Grabbing onto the sides for dear life I narrowly escape falling but watch as my morning’s coffee plummets. I grab onto the railings so fast and hard that I bruise the undersides of my arms and they’re starting to swell, am sure they’ll be purple by the time I get to the office. People passing me on the way up say nothing except “oooh” and “wow” yeah. Thanks. So I go downstairs to see 6 people deep waiting for the train. I sit in the Bikram-yoga-esque heat for about 35 minutes get on the C train and exhale.

A little too soon.

The driver must have been asleep because somewhere under the East River he stopped short announcing that there was a car in front of us.

Coffee is sliding by my feet and people are hemming and hawing. We arrive at West 4^th to be told that the C is now an express train, which means I have to transfer. At 14^th, I wait another 25-30 minutes for the local and get off at 23^rd. I get upstairs and the streets are empty so I run to grab coffee #2.

Am the 2^nd person in line at Dunkin Donuts and am thrilled at my change in luck. Only this Israeli guy (am a huge fan) is ordering what seems like one of every donut and is also on his cell phone. Literally it was taking forever. So I wait for a break in his conversation and order my iced coffee. He looks at me, puts his phone down and says, “ehhhh, I am first in line here lady.” LADY!?

I turn to him and bark in my broken Hebrew “WHAT? I am not your LADY, and I want coffee too you jerk, so do all the people behind me…can you see how many there are? That’s because you’re on your phone and not getting out of my way.” My coffee arrived, I grabbed it and put the money down and left.

I waited for the bus for a good 15 minutes, squeezed myself on and got to work. The building is deserted, and the office is empty. I’ve only now learned that the subway was crippled by the rain as well as Metro North. Really?! CRIPPLED? How is that possible? 2” of rain shut the city down? Dude, forget CNN, we need to be watching the weather channel.

That rain can shut down NYC is beyond ridiculous.

(this is my parents' dog, "Ben" he may be warmer in this picture than I am)

So, as I’m sure you know it’s about 500 degrees outside. But for some reason it’s like the tundra in my office. I sit at my desk with a sweatshirt and goose bumps the size of the Himalayas running up and down each arm. I haven’t had feeling in my toes since about 8:30 this morning and the only way to warm up is to grab a scalding hot coffee from the vending machine. But by the time I get to my desk, the arctic winds in my office have chilled it to an undrinkable room temperature.

Why does it have to be so extreme? Surely the thermostat has a range, not simply “sweat ‘em out to freeze ‘em solid.”

Just making an observation here.

lost at sea

(picture from flickr by Sikario)

I had this friend for years. Let’s call him Reeter Peneehan. We were pals, buddies and did everything together ALL THE TIME. we shared secrets, heard each other cry, complain, supported one another, etc. It wasn’t romantic at all; it was just a really good friendship.

I introduced him to my girlfriends and we would spend the summers together at the beach, on his boat, teasing each other about who we were dating. Yes, we teased him more, but that was only cause there were more of us.

So about a year and a half ago he started dating this woman, who we were interested in hearing about (especially after hearing all the shit-talking he did) but then it happened. He told us we couldn’t. she wouldn’t ALLOW it.

I’m sorry, what?

So conflicted, we still hung out with him had laughs drinks and boat rides but it started to get weird. He seemed unhappy, and wouldn’t stop talking about it.

Then we learned that we weren't the only ones banned. Any and ALL of his friends that were girls were cut out of his life.

Soon he had to start sneaking around to see us which we quickly stopped. This was ridiculous, now HE wasn’t allowed to see us.

It was that February that I went to Israel for 2 weeks and I remember it, because he couldn’t see me off.

He would call us and ask to meet secretly, but that seemed wrong.

I wanted to meet this person, if not to tell her that I was dating someone and Reeter was just my friend. Seriously.

Then this summer, more than a year later we found out he married her.

Anne has written him off, she says he’s dead to her. But for me and Lindsey it’s really different. I love Reeter, he was my friend for years and to not be allowed to see him at all to be cut off from his friendship is really hard.

So yesterday we were on the ferry and as we passed his house, Anne Lindsey and I saw him on his porch. Linds and I waved (Anne gave him the finger) and he saw us, he stared.

I know we have to respect his wishes and his wife’s feelings. But I miss him, we miss him and hope that he’s happy.

And I know deep down Anne does too.

MAC to the rescue

(this is from Todd's Point, NOT island beach, but i didn't have my camera yesterday, so deal)

we went to the beach today. hadn't been in a while, and i used to be somewhat of a sun goddess in my day. i mean, girlfriend had a system of when to turn, what SPF to put where, i was money...
now i'm just happy being a goddess.
i digress.
so my friend anne, lindsey, jon, his girlfriend and I all piled onto the island beach ferry and headed out for a day in the sun. the girls had pre-packed huge liters of lemonade and vodka, beers, et al. and i was PUMPED.
the island was pretty and quiet and i thought nothing of slathering on some 30 with plans to amp it up to 15 or GASP even 8 later on in the day.
siping our bevvies and listening to our ipods (had stolen some of lindsey' s music earlier in the day as she's a new music prodigy) we had it made.
it was a beautiful day. i was having a blast.
took an early ferry after much procrastinating into town and headed to my parents' house. when i got home showered and got dressed for dinner (in the 06830 we dine at 5:30), i noticed a bit of a reddish glow beaming back at me.
as the evening wore on i noticed it everywhere i was certain i had applied sunscreen.
what the---?
only realized after searching frantically for my beach bag that my SPF was DOA. it was from my trip to israel almost 2 years ago.
DOH!
now, thanks to MAC, my face won't be splotchy, but my ego is definitely still burned.

life of a shut in

so i'm here with anne. who, if you looked under "cool ass bitch" in the dictionary would be giving you the finger in the margin...we went my favorite bar early today and are headed back out. then back again. the above is a tired sun-soaked, "iced tea" filled yours truly. what you can't see is the water i spilled all over myself and the couch, floor and blanket. my hair is knotted and i reek of about 20 different perfumes from Sephora that i over zealously tried out earlier today.

just an update....i'm sure they'll be more to report later on this evening.

(we're eating chicken and bean floutas tonight with lots of cheese if that helps you out)