a car by any other name...

my car was stolen. in APRIL. it’s by no means a fancy car, or the car of my wildest dreams, but it was my car. the saga is finally over, some 2.5 months later and i wanted to write about it once the whole event had run its course.

please keep in mind that while this car was stolen, recovered, towed, damaged, repaired, damaged, towed and returned—the renovations were still going on. raging in all their skull-ripping glory.

but, i digress.

my jeep (apparently an easy mark) was stolen off a quiet street and its disappearance blew my mind. reporting it to the police wasn’t much fun, as they assumed that i was either an idiot, “are you sure you didn’t park it somewhere else?” or that I was wasting their time with an un-crime on such a busy night. they informed me that i needed to fill out a report and that if the vehicle was not recovered in 10 days, my insurance company would write me a check for the value and i would pay it off. this seemed sad, but alright, considering my lease is up in SEPTEMBER.

fast-forward…they found the car. In south Jamaica. At 3am. on the 7th day.

this is where it gets interesting.

i had to find a place to fix it and someone to tow it there, as the police dept informed me there was no steering column. I again relied on my insurance angel (bless you Keith at AIG PCS!!), we found a jeep dealer in Bay Ridge (close enough to Roy’s apartment, etc) Insurance covered everything including a rental car. but first I had to go “identify the body” of my poor Jessica (the jeep).

as always, Roy was valiant and relentless in his support and friendship. we drove together in the rental car to Bay Ridge to pay the tow company and send it on its way to the dealer. Seems easy, right?

uh, yeah…not so much.

i am driving my little zippy rental and Roy and i are going back and forth to Home Depot, Lowes, etc. when i get a call from the Bay Ridge thief of the month (Anthony—just you wait, payback’s a bitch). he called me honey, he called me baby, he said all the slimy things a mechanic stereotypically says to a woman with a connecticut license plate and a Red Sox sticker on the back of her jeep. message was that all the keys had to be changed and re-programmed and he’d be in and out and that was it. sounds good. meanwhile…

renovations were kicking our asses—big time— and Roy borrowed the rental to go pick up some something we needed. he calls me at work at around 3 and says, “the car’s not here.” now, i am not giving him enough credit. he said a lot more than that, but that’s all i heard. there was more, but all i remember saying was “uh, i need to get off the phone now.” i couldn’t bare another issue. but i was polite and it was a little later that we realized the car was towed. in the cab that night to the impound lot, it was hard not to laugh…how much more could we take, what else could happen?

giggggggle….what else indeed.

when the time came a few weeks later (we were never told when the car would be ready), el doucho called me at work and asked me if i could come down there in an hour. when i said no, he sounded angry, got upset, then called me something that sent me over the edge. Not sure what it was, but i barked at him; “STOP. no more sweetie or honey; any name that you call your girlfriend or dog does NOT apply to me.” he shut up. i assured him i would be there that Saturday. that was it. he asked for Thursday (it was Wednesday), i asked him if he was serious and that was the end of our conversation.

when Roy and i got to the dealer, i’m telling you, i could have picked Anthony out of a lineup of crooks with a blindfold on. whatever he used to wax his shiny head reeked and i swear he shellacked his chest hair. ( i only know, because i could SEE it.)

we got into the car (somehow there was a plunger that wasn't ours in the back seat) and he assured us that our old keys would not work, that he had changed all of them, and the coding, blah, blah…we thanked him and drove home. parked both cars and planned on returning the rental on Monday.

fast forward to Monday. i go to get into the rental and some jerk with a bus and a ladder has backed into the hood leaving these gashes. it looked like a vampire had come by to attack the car and for some reason changed his mind.

i drive the car to the rental place 15 minutes before they close with Roy for support and they inform me that they are going to call their adjuster and i should call my insurance company, cause they need to send this car to the shop to fix the “gash” (they actually called it that). i was beside myself. somehow the angel that Keith is (yeah AIG PCS), he fixed it for me without filing another claim and making me pay another deductible. now it’s Wednesday, so the car had to be moved for street cleaning. Roy didn’t have the “new” key on him, so by chance he tried the old one.

guess what happened. go on.

it worked. it worked and i was furious. i called AIG PCS immediately and told them what happened and vowed never to let anyone i know go to that dealership and deal with that thief.

moving on… Roy’s lovely friends are in town and we’re all piling into the car when Yossi notices that the headlight doesn’t work and that the engine light is on. i audibly sigh. somehow we make it to dinner and back without blowing up.

i didn’t think too much of the light, i had called Keith and he said we could take it to my local Jeep dealership, somewhere where the mechanics are honest and not covered in dippity doo. no biggie. Friday after work, i go pick up the car and head up the west side highway to CT. i had an appointment at my dealership and everything would be ok. Keith had arranged a rental car to pick me up there and i would be worry free.

*sigh*

i managed to get about 5 miles when the engine light went back on. i drove to the gas station and looked under the hood to check the oil. THERE WAS NO DIPSTICK. a quick glance at my battery and i saw IT WAS NOT MY ORIGINAL BATTERY. there were exposed wires and stripped screws, it was a mess. i called Roy (poor guy was at 6 flags) and i told him i was going to have the car fixed again, that i felt unsafe and i was fed up. he was supportive, if not thrilled, that i’d be there that evening for dinner and told me it would all be alright.
Keith told me he would have the car towed to an AIG approved garage where they would fix it and, unlike Bay ridge Jeep, check under the hood and look for other issues.
deal. also, he would find me a rental car immediately. I told him it was not a problem, that I would take the train to CT, and rent one the following week (for our trip to RI).

i rented a mini, had a blast in it and am picking my jeep up today. it’s been a long exhausting adventure. i’ve learned a few things in the process:

• don’t keep valuables in your car
• don’t keep cds you like in your car
• avoid unknown dealerships that you only later find out SUCK
• get a club or similar anti-theft device (even if you don’t lock it)
• get good car insurance, the best you can, end of story
• don’t stress the small stuff—trust me, it could always get worse